Dinner Party of One

Dinner Party of One
A few weeks ago, I went out to dinner with a group of friends. Not all of them wanted to go to this particular restaurant so someone suggested they look at the menu. I found that in my, not so old but old age, it is best for me to take a look at the menu and see what I want before arriving at the restaurant. This is a technique that my mother often uses, not because she wants to choose if she eats there but so she is prepared. So I modelled after her brilliance and did the same. Now something you should know about me, I am ALWAYS down to try a new place to dine at. Not always down to vary what I'm eating but i'm learning that a new variety not only expands your pallette but it can also introduce you to a new favorite thing. So I searched the menu and saw a few options but decided that I would probably eat my regular, Salmon. However, I also decided that I would make my final decision when I got there and saw peoples plates. So I did just that. Upon arrival, I realized it was happy hour and Sis LOVES a good happy hour. I mean who doesnt like discounted prices for the same quality food?!?! So I looked at that menu and decided to forego my regular salmon and try new thingsoff the happy hour menu. The only problem was, that if I ate off of the Happy Hour menu, I had to sit seperate from my friends. So we either ALL had to eat off the happy hour menu OR I had to go sit alone. So for a minute I tried to find something on the regular menu, so I could dine with my friends. It knew it wouldnt be fair for me to ask them all to change what they were eating just to accompany me. After a while, I realized if I was going to spend some money, I might as well spend it on something I wanted not something I compromised on. So I went and found seating alone at the bar. I was close enough to my friends that I could laugh and share an occassional joke but I was too far to engage in regular communication. So I took that time to connect with myself. As a growing woman, full time wife, mom, career woman, ministry worker, creator and more, I am constantly surrounded by people. People needing things, wanting me, and depending on my participation. So when I say I enjoy being alone...I ENJOY BEING ALONE. I sat there and just communed with God. I was grateful for a moment to slow down, reflect and allow my spirit to connect with my savior. When I thought about it later, I realized there are times in life where you have to dine alone. You have to be willing to move from a place of comfort, fun, possibly surrounded by your loved ones to a place where you can intimately reflect and connect by and with yourself. Deal with yourself, and more importantly allow God to deal with you. Its not necessarily a time of isolation but it is a moment of independence. You have your family and friends in close proximity to support you but, you have to prove to yourself that you can do it with or without them.
At the bar I chatted a little with the bartender who helped me decide which new dishes to try. I ordered 4 dishes, 2 were new and 2 were familiar. Out of the 2 new ones, 1 I had been wanting to try since my friend reccomended it 2 years ago when I visited them in California. The other one just sounded good. Out of the 2 familiar dishes one they didnt serve on that particular day so I only ended up ordering 3 dishes. The one I wanted to try was NOTHING like I imagined. It was raw. Or at least I believed it was...I tried to examine it but the lighting was bad. So I decided, i'd taste it and go from there. I took two bites before determining my feelings. I didnt love the texture but it had great flavor though it was a bit spicy for me. The waiter brought me a drink when he noticed my face so it ended up being enjoyable. The second of the 2 new dishes, tasted just like it sounded and it was delicious. I immediately devoured the entire dish. The last, most familiar thing was okay. I would order it again because it was good but there was nothing special about it. Sitting there I realized when you're dining alone God offers us a variety of new opportunities. Some things we may be looking forward to trying because of what it sounds like. Some opportunities may be nothing like what we thought they were going to be. Some may be something we are familiar but either cant access it or may nottruly be impressed by. But no matter what God offers us, we must try it. Now I may not have tried it if one of my friends was there and persuaded me to try something different. But im glad I stay aligned with my father that gives me intution to try new things, even when I dont know what is to come of the experience.
Recently, I have been going through a transition, one that is very strange and difficult for me to navigate at times. Its like I know what God told me to do, I know how im supposed to do it but its so hard for me to do. I feel God stripped me of the people that I typically find comfort in and though some people are there, I can not depend on them to remain with me and push me. But I can always find comfort in knowing my father prepares the table before me, even if im dining alone.

Xoxo

Amanda Christine