Find Beauty Everywhere.
Hello My Faithphil Friends,
As we remain in week 25639 of quarantine (well some of yall are not remaining, but I am) I have begun to find more value and beauty in things I never took the time to appreciate.
My life before quarantine was nonstop. Always moving, always working, always busy. I always had somewhere to go, something to do and someone to see. So much so that even my weekends felt like workends. But quarantine changed all that, kinda. Even though we were forced to remain in the house, that didn't stop me from trying to transfer all of my outside energy.
The first few weeks I became the ultimate housewife, constantly cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry. Then I realized I was tired of cleaning just for my house to be dirty 2 hours later. Also I was tired of my refridgerator full of grand meals that my son described as "yucky" "disgusting" and "nasty". So I transferred my energies to spending 8 hours a day creating activities that would turn my son into a well-behaved baby genius. I think you can guess how that played out. Next I started working out everyday. I took walks, did online classes and even tried to incorporate elongated gym time into my son's educational time. Eventually that too came to an abrupt hault because I found out something else needed my full attention, my health.
Within a few weeks I had to undergo emergency surgery, which was followed up with a whole lot of rest. I was forced to lay in bed, everyday, in solitude, not moving or shuffling and just allowing my body to heal. I had my phone most days, but I wasn't interested in playing with it. I had TV but I wasn't interested in watching it. I couldnt care for my son because he was (well is) too active. I couldnt cook, clean or drive bc that was too much pressure on my body, I was forced to remain still and be served by my family. In my stillness I was frustrated. I was focused on my pain, the unknown, the chaos of doctors appts and all the things I couldnt do for myself. Most days cried and screamed in the shower, wept myself to sleep and ate nothing or everything in site. But after a few weeks, I was crying in the shower and my son ran in the bathroom and whipped open the current (as he loves to violate) and said "What's going on in here Beautiful?!?!". And after yelling at him to have boundaries and get out of the bathroom, I chuckled at what he said. If my 2 year old could find beauty in his crying mama then I could try to find beaty in odd places too.And just like that I was done with being in that state and decided I was in the need of a change. So that evening, I sat and wrote on a post it note the things around me that I found to be beautiful. I found beauty in my stillness. Beauty in solitude. Beauty in tranquility and silence. Beauty in being cared for instead of caring for others. Beauty in taking care of my own self.
After a few weeks of constant reflection I was feeling better. I was also given the green light by my doctors to begin doing small tasks. I started reading bedtime stories to my son again. I could watch tv/movies while cuddling with my husband. I had time to write the books God put on my heart. But my most favorite thing that I found beauty in was my 6am alarm. Before I hated it and it sounded like a loud obnoxious forceful demand but, some how though the tune never changed the sound transformwd to a gentle whisper. Reminding me to meet up with God. I was able to willingly get out of bed, get my bibles, notebooks, pens, highlighters and an excessively large cup of coffee (with honey in it) and intimately communing with God for an unlimited amount of time.
As difficult as quarantine had been, the pause that it brought about completely changed my vision and allowed me truly appreciate and make time for things I once overlooked. God has a way of always getting the glory and even if we dont think we need to rest, adjust or realign, he knows what's best for us. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so my question to you is What beauty is your eye currently beholding?
Until Next Time My Framily,
Faithphilly Yours
Amanda Christine
