Releasing the Burden of Unforgiveness
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes your cr.... just kidding. I have this song stuck in my head but seriously What’s up Sis?!!? How’ve you been this week? My week was busy and filled with lessons.... LET ME TELL YOU! God has been constantly talking to me about forgiveness. Since I was a kid, I have struggled with unforgiveness and grudge holding. A little over a year ago, I came to the realization that my son holds grudges just like I did. But watching him struggle to forgive his dad for a small mistake made me realize that unforgiveness is something he struggles with because I struggle with it, it's generational. So I begun praying that God would help me to release the spirits of unforgiveness that had me bound. Then BOOM, I got snacked with my first test. BOOM BAM BOMB, I kept getting smacked with test after test after test. Some I passed and some I failed. But I knew it kept happening because God was teaching me and stretching me. As a child of the most high, I know there is no room for Unforgiveness. God tells us over and over in His word that if we are unable to forgive someone for doing wrong then He is unable to forgive us. But if im being honest, it is easier said than done. In the past, when I would tell someone I forgive them, or when I would confess it to God I may or may not take some distance but overal I thought that the process was over. But the more I grow, the more I understand there is real, continuous, tedious work and that requires a lot of mercy, grace, compassion, patience and love. Like have you ever forgiven someone for something and its cool but then a little while later they repeat the same offense, and you go right back to despising or distrusting them? Or you tell someone you forgive them but as time goes by you realize you don’t in fact forgive them and you continue to hold a grudge against them even though they have no idea you even have one? That's because you can't just confess something in your mind but not change it in your heart. The Bible warns us that the heart is deceitfully wicked, which means our hearts are good at hiding our underlying truths. Our hearts do a great job at hiding our true pains. So if someone reopens a wound our hearts often takes us right back to that place of pain, insecurity and abandonment.
So what have I learned to do?
1. Recognize my hurt and sit with it. Understand why someones actions hurt you? What experiences in your life or relationships were similar that caused you to begin building a wall of distrust? Once I began to understand why I was hurt I was able to verbalize my frustrations to God
2. Be honest with God. Lay it all down on the table. Let Him know what's up and why. You can't get bitterness out of your heart if you're hiding what your harboring. Sometimes that means yelling at God and other times it means praying to Him. Either way He already knows and He's willing to meet you where ever you are.
3. Seek God in prayer for your release. Pray that God helps you remove all bitterness and hurt. Pray for forgiveness for that person and pray that you begin to have more empathy towards them. People always say forgiveness isnt for the other person its for you, and thats completely true. Unforgiveness can cause real sickness in your mind and body but when we release our anger and frustrations we are stressing our minds and bodies.
4. Repeat these steps until you feel better. Dont just do it once and think its done. Especially if the hurt is a deep one. Rlease and forgive until you can be around that person with no bitterness or negative thoughts. Repeat until they stop consuming your negative thoughts. Repeat until your flesh has no power over you or the decisions you make. If you need use some scriptures or affirmations to help rinse your wound.
It may seem like a taxing cycle, but it is definitely necessary for your own mental clarity. You are deserving of a life free of bitterness, and more importantly you are able to receive Gods forgiveness and experience his freedom as long as you let go of the unforgiveness that has you bound.
Until Next Time My Faithphilled Friends,
Amanda Christine
